Added: Gustave Brick - Date: 28.02.2022 14:15 - Views: 11189 - Clicks: 9789
Hi all--my SO and I have been together for several years and considered ourselves "open" for a while, though neither of us has done much outside of this relationship--mostly just casual dating. But as fate would have it, I'm starting to reevaluate that stance. Long story short, I made a new friend about a month ago. Turns out we have a mutual attraction and as of the past week we've started having sex. I told him before we did anything what I considered an accurate assessment of my situation--that Looking for fwb open relationship not monogamous but am not looking for another romantic partner, just friends with benefits.
I wasn't expecting to develop feelings much stronger than that, but over the past week I've found myself starting to think of him more as I would a partner. I've found myself thinking of him fondly when he's not around, wondering how he's doing and having this urge to be "there" for him emotionally, and give him the sort of support and comfort I generally only think of giving my romantic partners.
I feel like maintaining our less committed FWB status is starting to require more of a conscious "holding back" on my part than I'd thought. Of course, we've only recently started being intimate, so I have the sense to realize I shouldn't make any definitive decisions until we've had time to feel out our connection more and get to know each other better. But I figure it's good to start considering this now. The trouble is, I'm terrified of screwing this up. I've never really done the poly thing before and even in monogamous relationships I've sometimes gotten stressed out trying to balance my needs with my partner's.
I'd feel really bad Looking for fwb open relationship I initiated anything more committed than what we have and ended up not being able to hold up my end of the deal and messing up our friendship. On the other hand, I don't want to sabotage an opportunity for deeper connection and mutual growth solely because I'm afraid. Of course, I don't even know yet if he'd want the same thing were I tell him how I'm feeling, but that's a different topic. As of now I've kept my mouth shut about it because I'm not totally sure I want to pursue this and I don't want to play with his feelings.
Any advice on this? I know I'm having a bit of a spaz right now and I'm trying to handle this rationally. This is good advice, thank you. I was already thinking it would be smarter to hold off for a bit, but my primal feels were telling me otherwise. I'll just leave things as they are for a bit longer. He seemed OK with the prospect of me having another partner, but contemplating it in the abstract and as a concrete reality are two separate things, so I'll be sure to bring this up to him before I make any definitive decisions regarding my friend.
And thanks for the reminder. Actually, now that you mention it some of this might be that I've gone for a long time without many close friends, and maybe I've come to unnecessarily equate emotional closeness of any kind with romantic relationships only.
At any rate, all of these are reasons to sit on this for a while, so I think for now I'll enjoy our friendship and sexual connection as it is and see how I feel in a couple weeks. Again, thank you! While you're trying to figure out where you do and don't want to go with this relationship I just want to throw out there that while you may usually reserve certain types of emotional intimacy and emotional Looking for fwb open relationship for a specific type of relationship there's no hard and fast rule saying they must be reserved for that sort of relationship.
If you want to be more emotionally available for a friend with benefits without changing other expectations or commitment levels with them you can do that. Your relationships can take whatever shape you want them to, they don't have to fit neatly into the appropriate box. Let things settle for a little longer and then have a discussion about expectations with your ificant other and potential partner.
I never thought I would want more than a fwb either. My current partner simply fell into the role of my secondary. We both one day realized it was more than a casual thing but enjoyed everything the way it currently was. We were already physically and emotionally affectionate so we just discussed how much commitment and emotional depth we were both comfortable with. The only thing I can definitively say from experience is that the two of them really need to get along and like each other.
Nothing will fuck this up faster than if they never meet, or if they meet and don't get along. Luckily, they have already met, albeit briefly, and though they don't know each other well at all they seem to like each other. They have similar temperaments and some common interests, so in all likelihood I think they'll get along. Before you say anything to fwb. Found the internet! In an open relationship and starting to see my FWB as a potential partner despite ly being wary of having multiple partners due to fear of screwing it up.
Could use some tips. Posted by poly newbie. Sort by: best. Reply Share. Continue this thread. More posts from the polyamory community. Polyamory is openly, honestly, and consensually loving and being committed to more than one person. This subreddit discusses news, views, and issues around polyamory, polyfidelity, poly people, and related issues.
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A Beginner’s Guide to Open Relationships